I do not know how to write all that is on my heart and mind! I do not know how to give God such great credit that is due Him, at least with words! I have had the privilege of being here in Oak Harbor with Janni, Steve, Kole, Jaelle, my parents, and two of my children! Jaelle has enjoyed having her cousins here to play with her. Yet, it has been hard for Kole. His mind wants to play right along with them and yet his body will not cooperate, nor will his energy level! We were praying with Kole yesterday and talked again about the man at the gate Beautiful. How he could not walk, but how Peter and John gave him what they had--- healing in the name of Jesus Christ. We talked about how he was able to go walking and leaping and praising God. That became our prayer yesterday, for Kole to be able to go walking and leaping and praising God. We are asking God for a walking and leaping and praising God party!!!

Anyway, last night as Kole was attempting to sleep I could hear his cries and whimpers. I wanted to wrap him in my arms and take it all away! And yet, it was not my place. My place was on my knees interceding for Kole, Janni, and Steve. It was a pleasure to lift them up and pray for God's working to soothe them and care for them as only He could! As I prayed, while hearing the tears of a my young nephew, I could see the cost of what Christ did on the cross! I could sense the cost to our heavenly Father, for the first time! It was revealed to me the great great love of our heavenly Father! I cannot imagine the agony that God the Father had, when faced with having to allow His One and Only Perfect Son to be beaten and crucified. God is our hero in that He loved us so much that He gave His Son when He did not have to, to die in order that we may live. I could picture last night, the anguish of our Heavenly Father. I could picture our Father being right next to His Son with every insult, every beating, every nail hammered in his hand, every crying out, every pain, and than when all the sins of every person of the world were upon His Son--- He had to tear Himself away and turn His back on His own Son. He did this because He loved us so much! I believe that caused immense pain to our immense God. He could have done something at any time to rescue Jesus, however he restrained Himself so that we might have life and life eternal. I cannot imagine my sister and Steve ever having to turn their back on Kole. That would be practically impossible for them, for their love for their son is so great! And yet, so was God's. God, however knew that this was what was required and He is a courageous God and a good God to allow His Son to be alone for that moment in order to remedy the sin of the whole world. What love is this! I do not understand it! How could God love such sinful people so much, I hardly get it! Yet, He does! I see it better now. I believe our Heavenly Father allows himself to feel pain. I know Christ felt pain. What we see in Christ reflects the Heavenly Father, for they are One! We believe that what Kole is suffering is not in vain! We believe that our Heavenly Father, far more loves Kole than even we can imagine! Victory is in store! For all the way our Savior leads us! He is leading us to trust His power to rescue. He has the power to rescue Kole from the ravages of this cancer! He is the Only Wise God who can do this---there is no human out there who can save Kole. Jesus truly saves! We praise Him and trust Him. There is a sense of rest in knowing who our Savior is and learning to rely on Him. This burden is way too big. Learning to truly trust God lightens our burden and pleases God. I was thinking that it is a worthy goal to live to please our loving God and work hard not to cause Him pain. Our unbelief and sin and disobedience causes Him pain. We will never be able to prevent God being in pain over us! Yet, we can live to please Him! I see God is in anguish over many people with many hurts! I see it now much better! I understand anguish now! Some day this world will loose it's anguish, all because our Heavenly Father gave His Only Begotten Son! Blessed be His Name. His hands are on this anguish. We are learning to take our hands off and look only to His nail scared hand.

Love,
Jodi