Janni and I just finished talking on the phone! I could hear Judah on the other end of the line getting impatient! He has only nursed most of the day and yet 15 minutes away from the comfort of his mom, was just too much!! Janni said he was good yesterday, but it all hit the fan today with this little newborn! How could a small 8 lb bundle be so demanding and consume so much time and energy? Janni said with Jaelle being sick, her three children call for "a four man job"! Kole takes one parent, Jaelle takes one grandparent, the newborn takes up Janni and then they need someone to feed them! She laughs at the craziness, because it is rather ridiculous. She also knows that it will get better. She has been blessed by all the volunteers who have painted her new house, put in the appliances, and who will move her stuff into their house on Saturday! By the way, Kole's birthday is Saturday and he wants to see some of his friends. That is something, for he has been too sick to desire guests. Steve and Janni will not be able to help their volunteers move their belongings into their own house! This is so against their nature and yet God has caused them to require the love of so many to takeover for their physical housing needs. They also require much spiritual support as well, which "big time" includes prayer! Thank you to the person who sent the verse from Zechariah 10:6 "I will strengthen the house of Judah and save the house of Joseph, I will restore them because I have compassion on them....". That verse made Janni's day! And as her big sister, I love it when she sounds uplifted! Kole's middle name is "Joseph" as most of you already know!

I can imagine that everyone wants to know how Kole is doing! Janni said he has been doing better everyday since he got home from the hospital! He is using his left hand more and has asked to eat, which is always a blessing and answer to prayer! Janni said he really does not ask for pain killers, even though they are offered to him! I can just imagine the hosts of Angels that are ministering to his physical needs even at this very moment. This type of brain cancer usually results in horrible pain, especially head pain and leg pain! The doctors can usually help with the leg pain, but not with the head pain unless they put in a shunt, surgically, to remove some of the pressure! Why he is not in pain, is purely God and your intercessory prayers! This week the Lord has spoken to my heart about truly trusting Kole into His care! I have to laugh at myself, for what in the world did I get off thinking I could help Kole's pain or discomfort or anything along those lines! Prayer is my best bet, for helping my darling nephew! I love him so, for there is something about sitting around a sick child's bedside and praying your heart out for that frail and oh so valuable child! I need to devote myself in that way, to my own children! There is a tenderness that comes to one's heart, when one prays to the God of Heaven and Earth on any sick/needy person's behalf! We as a church grow our love for each other through intercessory prayer for one another! I know many of you do not even know Kole, but love him through your prayers and even gain more love for this unknown child! I bet you feel like you almost know him! Janni cannot wait to tell Kole of you and your love for him! She just told me that tonight! Pray that Janni gets time with the Lord. She misses the hours spent in His Word and in seeking His presence! She is so busy that she barely gets a shower! I told her that her spiritual bank account is full to over flowing! But that does not matter to her, she misses her time with her Lord and Savior!

Tonight my church had a special church service! I cannot remember the Latin name for it! I had such "need" to be there tonight! It was what I call a "Divine Appointment". I have been confused this week! Almost as if there was a dark cloud over me! Funny, because the weather changed at the same time, and warm sunshine was exchanged for cold snow! Anyway, I started wondering if we were really hearing God and if maybe I had been mistaken! I really don't doubt God, but I do doubt myself! My good friend Liz Ward, at church encouraged me not to doubt God's work in us! Tonight, as we took communion, I got down on my knees asking for this dark confused cloud to be removed! It was as if God was saying (as Beth Moore said God has said to her) "You have only begun to believe me"! I believe God was saying to me and even to the church "I am pushing for more belief out of you"! I know I short change myself and say to God in my heart "haven't I believed you enough"! God has more confidence in us than we have in ourselves! We really do not have examples around us of "extreme believing believers". My oldest son said that he wants to be a missionary. He really does not like the idea of the discomforts of the third world. However, he (Josiah) said to me that he wants to go to the places where Christians face persecution, because we have it way too easy here! I thought to myself, where did he get that kind wisdom at twelve years of age! He is right you know! It seems that it takes "extreme fire" to produce "extreme belief". Unless we make a decision on our own to surrender to the Most High God! The more we know Him the easier it will be to trust Him with our lives and the lives of our family! I felt His calling tonight to extreme belief, trust, and faith! He wants us to be equipped to minister to this dying and hurting world! It seems so depressing but that is how the enemy has deceived us ! I believe the riches of this life are found in ministering the way Jesus did, when He walked this earth! Those poor disciples lived a rather sheltered life away from the "unclean" and diseased people around them. This was before they became followers of Christ! Their "law" and society required their separation from anything considered "unclean", if they were to be "good Jews". I am sure they did not put up much of a fuss, because it is of course easier to live in our "comfort zone", ignoring the pain in this world. After they put down their nets, they picked up the poor and needy and became fisher's of men! I bet they discovered the most rewarding job of their entire lives! They were "hooked"(or netted) for life, I am sure! I never thought that I could face being at the bedside of a child fighting brain cancer! I thought I would emotionally fall apart, and go into a pit of despair! The opposite has held true! There are times when it is difficult to see him suffer! God has been gracious and has made those times relatively short lived! He has given us victory after victory over all of Kole's pains and sufferings. For the most part Kole is resting comfortably or talking! Facing this hardship, has instead made us become more "real" and our Lord-----He really has become REAL!!! God is AWESOME!! He is kind and entertaining and delightful to know! I must say I believe He has the kindest eyes and the most warm loving smile you can imagine! He deserves our awe and worship and yet He is approachable, hugable and lovable! Instead of the "pit of despair" we get to experience a bit of the "throne room of heaven"! He has rewarded us, with Himself!

These verses hint at the kind of reward that God has for us when we allow Him to use us as His representatives before a hurting world. Christ did this and now He does it through us!

Isaiah 61:1-3
"He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners........to comfort all who mourn and provide for those who grieve in Zion----"
"TO BESTOW ON THEM A CROWN OF BEAUTY, instead of ashes"
"THE OIL OF GLADNESS, instead of mourning"
"THE GARMENT OF PRAISE, instead of the spirit of despair"
"They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor".

Is. 61:9
"Their descendants will be known among the nations and their offspring among the peoples. All who see them will acknowledge that they are a people the Lord has blessed."

I was sharing with my precious church "sisters", how this valley has seemed so long! I told them how I could relate to the movie, "Facing the Giants"! There is a portion on that movie where the football coach has his player perform this amazing feat of strength. Anyway, he crawls across the entire length of the football field using only both hands and both feet, while carrying a 160 lb fellow player on his back! The coach blind folds him so that he does not see how far he has to go!This was pointed out by my good friend, Kim Allison. I finally got the fact, that we too have been "blindfolded" in a way. This wise coach knew the player would give up if he saw how hard "this coach", was planning on pushing him! The coach was teaching him to give all he had and not to reserve anything based on what the player could "see"! We get overwhelmed if we see the distance, for in our minds it seems impossible!

Sometimes, it may seem impossible to have great faith---but with God "all things are possible"! It may even seem that God is expecting way too much out of us! He has more confidence in us, then we do in ourselves! God will not steer us wrong! He wants our lives to mean something and to be used for God's great glory! We have many "crowns" at stake! Crowns that we get to cast before His feet! God is a great coach and does He ever love his players! He laid his life down for them and has given us His "resurrection power" to overcome! We just need to keep listening to His encouragement and keep going! By the way, God also adds fellow players to help. I am thankful for my teammates, Grace Community Church of Lima, Ohio and all of you out there!


Jodi