Hello,
I was upstairs talking to God and getting ready for bed when he told me that I needed to write on the blog. I am not sure what he wants me to say yet, but I know he will tell me.

Last week, Kole had a really tough time. We had about three days that were very troubling. Even when I questioned and got angry with the good Lord he still answered. I guess he knows and understands our turmoils. In fact it says in Hebrews 4:15 and 16 that we have a great high priest who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet without sin. It goes on to say that we need to approach His throne of grace with confidence so that we may recieve mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. I love these verses. Boy does this speak to me in so many ways.
As of tomorrow it will have been a whole week since we have had a day where Kole was just crying in discomfort. Last week we had three days like this. God is showing us his power, grace, and mercy. He has barely said anything hurts. PRAISE THE LORD! This past week we have been battling the devil about food, sleep, slight neck pain, and lower back pain. Food has been the biggest issue. He just doesn't want to eat. God has taught me not to worry or fret for he will take care of it. Everytime we pray about it Kole eventually eats. PTL!! In these last two weeks God has helped me to grow with little baby steps that have turned into great strides. As a mom you just want to take all the pain away and make your child better again. I wanted to be in control. This attitude is exactly what the devil wanted. Not only did I feel worthless because he would still be in pain but it also showed that I did not truly trust my God. Thus I was burdened and depressed. God enlightened me to the fact that I just need to trust him. He said "I am not the ultimate physician and the best daddy Kole could ever ask for?" He truly is.

Today, Kole had a great day. We went paint shopping, out to eat, and ran a couple of errands. His stamina was great. He ended up eating quite a bit of food too! I know this is all part of GOd's miracle.

I have learned so much this week but I just want to encourage you with your faith just as the Lord has with mine. On one of the really tough days I was just pouring through the bible looking for scripture to help me cope with the struggles Kole was going through. I was wondering if GOd was truly going to answer. Anyway, at about 6 o'clock that evening I got on my email and my sister had emailed me this sermon with Daniel 10. I think I have shared this part with you, but anyway Daniel fasted and prayed for 21 days before God came to Daniel. But what God said was "Daniel your prayer was answered the first time you prayed it." Anyways this answered my prayer also and helped me cope with what KOle was going through. The rest of the sermon helped me to grow. He was talking on answered prayer. From what I gathered there were three main parts that stuck to me. 1. Ask God for anything but ask with confidence and expect it to happen. This actually came from the scripture in Hebrews that I gave you earlier (Hebrews 4:15-16) 2. What you are asking must be biblical. 3. It has to be God's will (He knows best).
I really seeked these three things out about Kole. For the first part I know I have asked and beleived that it will happen. As for the second part, healing is all over the bible. I cannot count the times that God has healed someone or speaks of it in the bible. James 5:15 actually calls for the sick to come to the elders of the church to pray for him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. It says that the prayer of faith shall save the sick and the Lord shall raise up. And the last part is about God's will. God has told Steve and I numerous times that Kole will be healed here on earth. We beleive it and profess it. He has told us in miraculous ways. And the good GOd that He is continues to reassure us. One of the most recent times was just a couple of Sundays ago. God led me on this path ( which I would be more specific about but I know this post would be even longer) to the church library. Now if you know me I never read. It is kind of sad being that I love to teach reading and that is my job, but I never read. Anyways, I was looking for this bible study called Beleiving In God by Beth Moore. The lady working the library said that they did not have the study in the library but she did have some books by Beth Moore. Surprisingly I said I was interested in looking at them. She showed me the books and wouldn't you know it, practicly right beside the Beth Moore books there was a little book that was showcased called Ordinary Miracles. Well I had to pick that one up. I checked it out and began reading it as soon as I got to the car. (That is a miracle in itself) Anyway the very first miracle in the book of 31 miracles started out with this "On more than one occasion, God used the announcement of a pregnancy to certify that His word was true. He was going to do something supernatural in someone's life, and the news that a baby was coming was offered as proof. Sarah was told she would bear a son as evidence that God would make a great nation from her and Abraham's descendants (Gen. 17:15, 18:10-15). Through an angel, God told Mary that her aged, formerly barren cousin Elizabeth was expecting a child. This was offered as proof that with the power of GOd, even Mary herself, a virgin, could conceive (Luke 1:34-36)." The first page went on to say that "For the Miller Family, God's message that Jenny was expecting a child bore proof that He was going to provide healing to their gravely ill little girl." This story went on to tell of a little girl who had neuroblastoma (another form of cancer). For us, this was proof that it is God's will for Kole to be healed. At the point of getting this book I had about a month before the due date of our newest child. This pregnancy was purely GOd planned and in my mind I was always asking "Is this going to be give a life, take a life, God?" God answered my prayers through this story. This new baby is proof of His promise that Kole is healed. This is even more miraculous. The very next story in the book had the town that it took place in directly under the title of the story. It took place in non-other than my dad's hometown of Berne, Indiana. This confirmed to me that this was a message from God not just a coincidence.

I wish I could say that my faith was over flowing. But I can say that my faith continues to get stronger. Steve and I are upheld by God and He continues to help us grow with strength, faith, trust, and love.

I was going to apologize for how long this post is but I am telling you it is straight from the Lord's lips. I started writing and he just kept me going.

God Bless you all and please continue to pray.
Love Janni