Hello to all! Here it has been almost one month, since Kole went on before us-- to our real home and to our real Dad. We have had some working through times this month! Janni is doing well. She deeply misses her precious son. Steve just finished reading the book "90 Minutes in Heaven". He loved it and has been sharing about his faith in Christ wherever he goes. It makes this sister-in-law very proud to have him as a part of our family! Anyway, I would say that the transition has been the most difficult (on my end) on my seven-year old, Leah. She was so crazy about her cousin Kole. As soon as she could speak to pray in Sunday School, Kole would be her number one prayer request. Even before Kole became sick, her Sunday School teacher came up to me and asked who this "Kole" was! Leah has been his loyal fan from the time she was a toddler. I can remember seeing Leah with a pouting face in so many pictures we had of Kole and my children. She was always pouting when Kole chose to sit with Josiah or Hannah over her! I can remember her saying that it would not matter if Kole liked her or not, or was sick, or anything--- for she chose to love him through thick and thin.

She has demonstrated "a love" that puts me to shame. Her "human love" being deep as it is, is truly nothing in comparison to God's steadfast love for us! God's very nature is love. He is the source of love. He has undefiled love. It is hard to believe that He loves us still, even when we stray from Him or become "ugly" in our attitude or actions. His love does not fluctuate. In fact, if given a chance God will demonstrate His love over and over to you every minute of every day! It is "us" who block His love, for His love is free flowing. I have done some blocking of His love lately and have experienced needless suffering due to it! I then find myself going on to pray that my daughter, Leah, senses God's love for her. When, I am rejecting it myself! Guilt has been my culprit and blocker! Trying to get back to raising my children, taking care of my spouse, and to the mundane duties of house and home has fueled my guilt. The "enemy" has been my accuser! He does not give us a break to grieve! God will turn "his" schemes around I am sure! I love to see God back fire satan's evil!

Getting back to Leah. She has had some grieving to do! She has felt ill since Kole died. I took her to the doctor, who said that she looked pretty good except for some swollen glands. Some wonderful sisters-in-Christ pray with me on Thursday mornings. They poured out their hearts, before the throne, this past Thursday for my daughter. I felt so loved, as they loved my daughter through their heartfelt prayers! Leah happened to see Kole just after he died. My dear prayer partners feel that God will use that experience in her future ministry. He was just a shell and she could tell that Kole was not there anymore! I can remember his frail lifeless body. A light bulb turned on in my head the minute I saw that his spirit had left. This world is just a "dying shell" in comparison to the world to come. This world seems like "our reality" until you get a glimpse of what" it truly is" through watching a person pass from this life to the next. You see what is left behind! What is left behind is an empty shell. Just like a locust shell found on a tree trunk! The life in it has moved on! Leah has many questions--some which are so deep and so thought provoking that I can hardly believe she can ponder so deeply at such a young age. She has been wondering why we even want to live here in this dying world. She truly thinks that going to be in heaven with Kole would be much better than staying here. She wonders if she truly loves God or if she just wants to escape hell and go to heaven?

We had a wonderful Sunday night church service, this past Sunday. A young father, in his 20's, was sharing his heartache at watching his young wife go through cancer surgery, chemo, and radiation. He stated if God takes her, he too would be jealous! She gets to go be with the Lord, and he would have to wait. He and Leah are of the same mind in that regard. We ended the service by singing "I'll Fly Away". Afterwards, Leah was perched on my lap as she said "I was just thinking about Kole when we sang that song. It made me sad!" She said, I think it would better to go to heaven now as a kid, don't you? To that, I pointed at my stomach that she was lying against! I began talking, as God was leading me-- "do you know what, Leah? You have a new baby sister coming soon and you have a job to do! You need to tell her about Jesus. You are her big sister. I also said that Kole was the big brother in his family. Now, I bet he would like it if you took over his job. That means you need to tell baby Judah about Jesus! She then, pipes in with a smile, "and Jaelle too". Jaelle has now taken on Leah's dedication and the tables have been reversed! Jaelle loves Leah, as Leah has loved Kole!

In many ways, our whole family has a new excitement for the day when we all get to "fly away"! But until then, we have a job to do! That job is to love God, love those still here, and spread the Good News of Jesus. May the Good News fly to ends of the earth! May it be God's love, His Word, and the power of the Holy Spirit that sets and fuels our flight!

Luke 17:33 "Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it"

John 12:24-25 "I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But, if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will loose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life."

Jodi